Seriously.. HOW?! Since going back to work, I’m finding the balance super frustrating. After having Johnny, I wanted to go back to work but daycare is basically like paying college tuition so that was a hard NO. Babysitters these days want $20-25 dollars an hour – WTF! I remember being paid $7 an hour! At that point, being a “Stay at Home” mom was more realistic for our family. SO… I stayed home. I did the whole “Mommy and Me” classes with him which, I was not a fan of and neither was he. I did laundry, cleaned the house- over and over again, cooked the food, took care of the babe and did the whole playdate thing, but I was craving work. I missed working! I missed having my own “bubble” of people, my own outside world. I mean, don’t get me wrong. I am SO grateful that I was able to stay home and raise my baby but the switch from working all the time to staying home all the time was HARD.
Then, I had an idea. I can be my own real estate agent and sell our apartment and not tell my husband! Genius right? LOL. NOT genius. But, kind of?! I put our beautiful garden style apartment on RealMart and we had a buyer within the first week, anddddd now to tell my husband. And let me tell you, he was not too happy about what I did. We had asking price but nowhere to go. OOPPS.
We sold and moved into my Moms house. All 3 of us. For a whole year. But we saved a lot of money. Then the 1 time we had “alone time” I get pregnant with Xander. While living at my mom’s. Now, I’m pregnant and the rush to move is on. OHH HOW FUN! Thankfully, we found a house and we were able to get in (one month) before I had Xander. Packing and moving while pregnant is NOT FUN. I do not recommend it.
Now, back to the NOW. Again, I am beyond grateful that I was able to stay home with my babes and that we were able to buy a house. Then my stbx was laid off. It’s been a wild couple of years to say the least! With him out of work, I decided to start applying for teaching positions and in I was also hired a month later for a SEIT position (Special Education Itinerant Teacher) at an agency. I was back to work!! I LOVE working again but managing it is a whole other level. I have gained so much respect for working moms. I always had respect for them but being in that hustle is crazy!
HOW TO MANAGE? I have no idea. It’s definitely something they need to teach in school. Fuck homeEd and learning how to sew. They need to teach the realism’s of LIFE after school! How to manage money, how to deal with in-laws and how to balance working, kids, keeping a house clean and a marriage!
My stbx ended up getting a great job and the struggle to find a babysitter was on because now that I was working, I wanted to stay working. Finding someone to trust with your little babes is like pulling teeth but we found a great women who we cherished. AND THEN… COVID 19 HIT.
March 13th is the day I remember well. I was working at a school that had its first case of someone who was tested positive. Our school was shut down immediately and then all the districts in Westchester County followed. It was a NIGHTMARE. No one knew enough to tell us anything but to stay home and quarantine.
I went through all the emotions as I’m sure most did. The “unknown” is something that scares the shit out of me. Schools were closed, stbx was working from home, I couldn’t watch the news, I didn’t want to scare Johnny and I was afraid to leave the house. Thank God for TikTok, alcohol and The Tiger King.
Things are slowly starting to get “back to normal” but not really. Masks are a necessity and the “unknown” is still among us. I went back to working with Melissa in May, I took on a leave replacement which involved teaching via Google classroom and Zoom and stbx is still working from home. I’m also due to start a fulltime Special Ed teaching position in September BUT that is if -schools open and I WANT them to open! Johnny needs structure, he needs his services, he needs school. For those parents who are choosing to opt out of putting their child back in school, I have no judgement.
I’m a Special Educator and I know firsthand that kids who receive services are regressing. My Johnny included. I avoid reading what others post on social media. I hate when parents post about what’s “best”. You DO YOU. I don’t need to hear it, read it or see it. Why debate over it? WHAT is the point? Everyone has their own opinion. Then you may fight over why your opinion is right. WHO CARES? My mom taught me a long time ago, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, then don’t say it at all”. Basically.. YOU DO YOU. You do what’s right for your family and what’s in your own “gut” to do.
What I am trying to do is ME. I’m trying to manage it all without knowing it all. I’m trying to gather knowledge from my school districts and will do what I FEEL is right for me and my family. Honestly, I don’t think ANYONE knows it all! Who the hell knows what’s going to happen? Where’s Nostradamus when we need him…..
Moral of this blog: How the fuck do you manage it ALLLLLLLL?! Remember that other saying your mom used to say, “You can’t have your cake and eat it too”?! So, I guess you can never manage it all and eat a huge bowl of cereal 🤷🏻♀️ As I write this, I am currently sitting in a house that has no WIFI, spotty cell service and is being run on a generator due to a fast moving storm that knocked power out all over the county. It sucks but at least we’re lucky. No trees fell on our property, our kids and family are safe. I count my blessings. We all should. We all can’t have it all but we can ALL be grateful for what we do have.
Also… let’s all stop being a KAREN. We’re all in this together 👏🏻 BYE FELICIA 😘